Skip to main content

Game of Thrones Season 6: The American Presidential Election!

          U.S. Election, stop being a season of Game of Thrones! It’s insane but it’s exactly what the presidential race has turned into. All you need to do is slightly alter the terminology.
          We thought it would end after the fall of House Bush but the War of the Five Presidents has continued to divide and strike terror into the hearts of Americans. And all the candidates are exhibiting the traits of their Westeros counterparts.

Rubio Stark -the promising young claimant who was starting to falter at which point he decided to do something rash: play the enemy’s game by throwing juvenile insults. He paid for this though when his entire campaign was massacred (figuratively for now) in his own state no less.

Hilary Targaryen -many would say she looks like a dragon, so why not be the mother of them? She’s been playing the long game seemingly from childhood. Though publicly nice enough, you wonder just how power hungry she is or if she’ll be able to handle the throne once she gets it.

Stannis Cruz -Determined to fight till the very end, this is a man who you wouldn’t be surprised would kill his brother to sit on the Oval Throne (actually that also applies to the aforementioned Targaryen). He’s also been known to have a sexually manipulative priestess (a.k.a. Porn star) advocate for him.

Tyrion Sanders -Something of a fan favourite who has a physical disadvantage (being old), strict social values, and a way with words. The guy many want to see on the Oval Throne himself but will most likely just end up an advisor to Hilary Targaryen.

Donald Lannister -The one claimant who doesn’t mind dating a family member. He’s recently expressed a great hatred of Tyrion Sanders and is bafflingly close to the throne. He’s loud and demanding but doesn’t have a plan and seeks to violently wipe out all opponents leading to violent demonstrations against him. It’s only a matter of time before he gets dung thrown at his face.

Kasich Greyjoy -You forgot he was still around too, right?

Other players include:

Margaery Christie -Once attempted to gain power for his own line, only to change his mind and align with Donald Lannister.

“Littlefinger” Carson -Tries to look meticulous, but is really just creepy.

Justin Snow -A leader in training from a famous father only partially connected to what happens in the realm of America, while he himself is trying to unite a barren northern wasteland. 

          The new season of Game of Thrones is just around the corner, and that terrifying autocracy of a fantasy land is looking pretty good about now.

Popular posts from this blog

Mary Tyler Moore's Best Moments

A couple days ago, we lost the icon Mary Tyler Moore. On the Mount Rushmore of groundbreaking comediennes, Moore has an undeniable place (with Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, and Cloris Leachman). She was often the best part of the Dick Van Dyke Show, making for half of one of the greatest TV couples. Through her own series, she was a key part of one of the most important and timeless shows of all time. Her kindness, perseverance, and good humour made her a role model for all, but especially women and girls whose greater representation in media she pioneered. She was such an endearingly sweet woman, a champion of diabetes research and a great philanthropist. When watching either of her classic shows, she always felt like a good friend. And now the world has lost that friend.
          In honour of her passing, I want to highlight just some of my favourite Mary Tyler Moore moments both as Laura Petrie and Mary Richards, that attest to what a great comedic and inspirational talen…

Disney Sundays: Moana (2016)

When I heard that the next Disney movie, Moana was going to be based around Hawaii, I was tempted to say, “haven’t we been here before?’ It doesn’t feel like too long ago that we had Lilo & Stitch. I was more curious though when I heard it would revolve around Hawaiian mythological figures like Maui and fantastical monsters. But then I remembered Ron Clements and John Musker were the directors behind Hercules and I worried. However I needn’t have, as Moana is easily the pair’s best film since Aladdin.
          A teenage girl called Moana, resident of a small isolated tribe on one of the Polynesian islands, is chosen by the ocean to be an emissary to the banished demigod Maui and convince him to return the Heart of the Sea (a small pounamu stone) to Te Fiti -the goddess he stole it from who’s cursed their world with famine as retribution.
          Though this is a standard and fittingly mythic hero's journey, the story is nonetheless an exciting one to follow due in…

Overlooked Specials 12th Day of Christmas

12th Day of Christmas:
Blackadder’s Christmas Carol This Christmas Day how about we dispense with the feels in favour of a mean but comedically genius one-off of Britain’s best series. Even if you’re unfamiliar with Blackadder, the series about a witty schemer reincarnated through various periods in British history, this special should still make you laugh. An inversion of A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Blackadder played of course to perfection by Rowan Atkinson is the kindest man in England which everyone uses to take advantage of him. But an encounter with a Spirit of Christmas causes him to change his ways. Most of the Blackadder cast: Atkinson, Tony Robinson as Baldrick, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, and Miranda Richardson appear here and are excellent, as are guests Miriam Margolyes, Jim Broadbent, and Robbie Coltrane in a role I’m sure inspired J.K. Rowling to request him for Hagrid. And the writing from Richard Curtis and Ben Elton is as sharp as ever. It’s relentlessly enjoyable, funny…