We thought it would end after the fall of House Bush but the War of the Five Presidents has continued to divide and strike terror into the hearts of Americans. And all the candidates are exhibiting the traits of their Westeros counterparts.
Rubio Stark -the promising young claimant who was starting to falter at which point he decided to do something rash: play the enemy’s game by throwing juvenile insults. He paid for this though when his entire campaign was massacred (figuratively for now) in his own state no less.
Hilary Targaryen -many would say she looks like a dragon, so why not be the mother of them? She’s been playing the long game seemingly from childhood. Though publicly nice enough, you wonder just how power hungry she is or if she’ll be able to handle the throne once she gets it.
Stannis Cruz -Determined to fight till the very end, this is a man who you wouldn’t be surprised would kill his brother to sit on the Oval Throne (actually that also applies to the aforementioned Targaryen). He’s also been known to have a sexually manipulative priestess (a.k.a. Porn star) advocate for him.
Tyrion Sanders -Something of a fan favourite who has a physical disadvantage (being old), strict social values, and a way with words. The guy many want to see on the Oval Throne himself but will most likely just end up an advisor to Hilary Targaryen.
Donald Lannister -The one claimant who doesn’t mind dating a family member. He’s recently expressed a great hatred of Tyrion Sanders and is bafflingly close to the throne. He’s loud and demanding but doesn’t have a plan and seeks to violently wipe out all opponents leading to violent demonstrations against him. It’s only a matter of time before he gets dung thrown at his face.
Kasich Greyjoy -You forgot he was still around too, right?
Other players include:
Margaery Christie -Once attempted to gain power for his own line, only to change his mind and align with Donald Lannister.
“Littlefinger” Carson -Tries to look meticulous, but is really just creepy.
Justin Snow -A leader in training from a famous father only partially connected to what happens in the realm of America, while he himself is trying to unite a barren northern wasteland.
The new season of Game of Thrones is just around the corner, and that terrifying autocracy of a fantasy land is looking pretty good about now.